Guilt comes when we feel we have broken a law - this comes from a spirit of religion by Linda

These are the two reasons we carry guilt:

1) Unconfessed sin

Guilt is an attribute from the enemy. God never causes us to have guilt. Guilt leads to self-destruction. On the other hand when we are convicted, it leads to life! Conviction is a gentle reminder of where we are in our heart. But, guilt will come if we don't deal with that conviction at the time. Let's say you needed to do something at work but you didn't. You knew you "should" have, but you didn't. The Lord even prompted you to do it, but you didn't. Now you feel "guilty." See, God only prompts and leads and guides BEFORE you are to do this or that, he never comes afterwards and says, "Why didn't you do it, I told you, You are so bad.." That's the DEVIL coming to you with those thoughts. God's plan for you is that when you are convicted, you come to him and confess your sin. He then pardons and cleanses you so that it's forgotten and you can move on.

2) Failing to keep a law we made ourselves or others have made for us.

I think we spend more time trying to keep up with our own laws and vows more than anything. We say we are going to read the Bible through in a year. And now it's the 2nd month, and you are way behind in your chapters. You "feel" so guilty and think God is mad at you. God never made that "deal" with you, you did it. When we begin to feel guilty, take a look at what you are feeling guilty about? Is it truly something you haven't' confessed or is it a "law" you made unto yourself or someone made for you? Did someone expect something from you that you didn't provide? That also produces guilt. We need to remain free of all guilt and sin by confessing.

Yes, we should do certain things, but when we fail we are not to fall under condemnation. "There is therefore NOW NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." There is no condemnation at the very minute you "think" you sinned.. Bring these things before the Lord God. He is your Father in Heaven who knows how fail you are. He is not up there with a big stick or get mad at you because of something you said or did. That's not the God I serve. Our Father is a loving and caring God. If you don't believe me? Take a look at the life of Jesus. The Bible says that He came to show us His Father! Jesus only mimicked what he saw and heard his Father do. So if we think of God as a tyrant, I don't know what Bible you are reading.. Take a look at the life of Jesus, he represents the Father fully. He said, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father."

So you say, "But what about the old testament." Yes, what about it? Jesus wasn't yet come in the flesh and the only way God could communicate with the people was through prophets. But this wasn't working because they took it all negatively as the Lord was telling them what to do and what not to do or suffer punishment. See, those things are still true today, but now we are living in Grace, where God is longsuffering and wants you to have all the things you need, and be all you want to be. His heart never changed from the Old Testament, he's just packaging it differently in the new.

I can tell you this is true because there are many diseases listed in the Old Testament that are a result of sin. And if the sin is not dealt with "today" those diseases do come. But, through Christ we can be set free from the sin that causes dis-ease. Read Deuteronomy 26, Leviticus 28.

So if you are experiencing Guilt, be sure to refer to the teachings on Guilt and Condemnation on the website, many other areas are covered to help you discern for yourselves to stay free from all that junk.

I pray now that you are free, and whom Christ has freed is free indeed. The scriptures say to not put yourself back under bondage. And we stay free by forgiving ourselves when we don't meet up to our own expectations, and forgiving others when they don't meet up to ours. Be mindful when you are starting to feel guilty if you are trying to keep up with your own laws or the laws of others. I pray that when you do "think" you sinned, to take it to the Lord immediately and confess, which prevents guilt and condemnation. Take every thought captive because that's where the problems begin, in our thinking. Remember, we are no longer under the law of sin and death! Begin receiving more of God's love in your heart. There is a law of Love that has to become so inherent in your life that guilt and condemnation won't even touch your doorsteps any more. We feel guilty many times because we think we dissappointed God. He cannot be dissapointed, He IS LOVE. He may show pity and compassion on us, but wants us to know that His whole purpose for our lives is to have an intimate relationship with Him that produces freedom, peace and joy.

I had a dream by Linda

Recently my aunt and uncle visited us for about 28 days… I didn't see them the whole time but got to visit with them in length, more than any other time. My aunt would say so many times how she remember us as being so little - it's hard for her to imagine, thought standing in front of her, that we were no longer those little girls.

They came and went, we had a great visit, they came for my mom's (my uncle's sister) 80th b-day party!

But that's not what I wanted to share - I was just setting the stage.

So life is back as usual; I was having a good time with a friend of mine as we were doing a yard sale together. We snacked all day; and then I couldn't stop eating all day. I ate dinner and still wasn't satisfied even though I was full! I kept eating and eating; and realized I had been doing this for some time now. I was so full but would continue eating. So I asked God; Why am I eating so much? What am I lacking because the food isn't satisfying that void?

I didn't get an answer, and just left my question out there.

Well I had a dream. In my dream my aunt and uncle were visiting us. And it was the night before they were going to leave for Ohio where they live. But during their week long stay (in my dream of course because in reality they stayed 3 weeks) my uncle did a couple of things that caused me to get mad at him. He had taken some of my video footage I took of our visit and rewound it and re-recorded something else on it. He then did it again; rewound it to record a TV movie. And each time that happened I told him I was so angry at him and may never forgive him. So here we were; the night before they were to go back home. We were all sitting around my mother's living room and as we were talking and laughing, all of a sudden when my mom asked him how his visit has been. He said; "Well, it was all good except every other day when I did something wrong; it made me miserable on those days." Then my mom asked; "Was it with the first 3 girls?" (My 3 older sisters) And he said, "No". Then she asked; was it with the three younger; He said, "Yes." And then I jumped up out of my seat and said, "Is it about me? Of course it's about me (as I was yelling).' It's all about me! Then I turned to him and said; "You hurt me!!! The day we were told we could no longer call you "Uncle Buddy" and when you were ripped from our lives when you married Frieda." And with that my heart broke; I began crying in my dream so hard that it woke me up and I continued to cry so long and hard; the wound was deep and I didn't even know it was there! I got up to write this down so that I can go back and re-visit this healing; because the healing took place. That little girl at age 8's heart was being healed. As I lay there in bed crying so hard; trying not to awake my husband; I thanked the Lord for healing my heart. For showing me where a deep wound was that was never healed. I never even knew it was there!

As I continued crying; as I cried at that point in my life as a child - (However, all I remember then was that I got mad a Frieda for taking him away) the crying took place this night! The wound was deep.

My husband did eventually wake up and he held me as he noticed that my crying was deep and sincere and waited for me to share what was going on in my heart at that moment. There was more to let out; so I cried again as I shared with him; but the pain began subsiding; because I was able to receive the touch of God's hand and love upon my wound that I felt it being sewn back together; filled with the love that I had ripped from my heart. Because the deep wound came because my Uncle was the only real father figure I had as a child. He laughed with me and played with me; he was so kind to me (all of us girls); He was the father I dreamed of having; and was taken from us. Yes, my uncle was still there but no longer in the capacity we had him. Frieda made him change somehow and we never had that relationship like we had back then ever again.

As I sat there allowing God to work in my heart and heal the hurts; he showed me something. He showed me that Buddy was hurt just as much when we were ripped from His life. It was no ones fault; he had to live his own life with his own family; but he too felt the pains of separation. So I began praying right then for his heart to be mended and restored.

Then I saw the connection of so many things that led u to this night. When my aunt kept saying she remembers us as being so little - that was when "time stood still." We were ALL still stuck at that time! So this night; God unstuck the time by healing the moment the wound set in. So I prayed the same for them; and even Frieda too; because she must have known what happened to our relationship with Buddy' and must have known it was she who did it. But we all had to go on and live our lives; it wasn't anyone's fault at all; it was simply change. Something a little 8 year old girl couldn't understand at the time. All she knew was that her beloved Uncle Buddy ceased to exist and she felt abandoned and rejected and lost. But this night; the wound was healed!

So what has this to do with eating? Several things took place that led up to this night of healing. My sister is experiencing issues with her son that she is feeling her grandkids are being ripped from her life. (Parallel's my experience now). My uncle and aunt visited recently. I was asking God to show me why I'm eating uncontrollably. Recently asked him why I have no discipline or self-control. See God never forgets a request. He has to set things up in our lives so that he can bring our answers to us; we need to be able to "see" what he wants us to see; but has to set things up all along to get us to the place where we can see. And that's what he's been doing; and one of those areas was with food. An area of my life that was void and empty; continually needing filled; and since I have been getting my filling from my father for several years now; I couldn't see why I was still having a void in my heart. It was this open wound that was sucking in love; but I was losing ground because of the hole in my heart!!!!! But the hole was sewn back together this night.

As I was sharing this with my husband; I saw all these different situations leading up to this revelation. God never once forgot my prayers and questions; he continued working on them even though I may have forgotten my prayer or question - he never has!!! It reminds me of times I would get something and realize about 3 weeks ago I prayed for it but totally forgot about it! God never forgets our requests and has to set the stage to bring that answer. Some of us aren't ready to 'see' the answer; that's why sometimes we may think we don't get our prayers answered; we are too hard headed and not really allowing the work of the Holy Spirit to penetrate those areas of hurt in our lives. Because truthfully; all our prayers involve people; many of our prayers are stimulated from experiences; needs; etc.

I can say for about 1/2 hour I cried with such deepness that things were being pulled out of my heart that wouldn't allow my heart to be healed. But this night; after crying it all out; I have a peace; a deeper peace than ever before. And I believe that many of my habits; you might say; has changed forever. Perhaps in the area of food? We'll see; but I do know one thing; my heart which was an open wound in that relationship is now sealed and healed forever!

But this goes deeper than that. This was a "hole" in my heart that needed mended so that as I continue seeking God's love, or desiring Him to fill me, I will stay filled; it won't leak out and I have to start all over again. I believe we seek Him every day because we all have holes. If I had NO holes; I would be ever filled; and will just "live" in God's love, forgiveness; peace, joy. I would be COMPLETE in him; as Jesus said I am to be. But we are so HOLEY; and need to let God heal the holes.

If the Lord is speaking to you now; and some of you God won't be able to show you into days ahead because you are not yet ready to see; at that moment in time you begin to remember something that hurts to think of; I encourage you to NOT stop it from surfacing. As I did; it came up and the minute it did I knew God was purging me from past hurts; and I let Him! I agreed with him by saying: "Father, thank you for mending my broken heart; for sewing up the hole in my heart that has been opened for years." And as I continued thinking of this; the tears came and came like a flood. It was deep and long; but now it's over. The morning has come; my tears are dried up and the PAIN is gone - and will be gone forever! The hole is shut! It was the hole of abandonment.

I have peace now instead of pain! When I re-think of this today (the next morning) I even smiled; I had a real contentment of peace within me.

Then I remembered asking God that I wanted get even closer to Him. I asked Him this several weeks ago; but it took NOW for Him to work things out so I was ready to receive. Healing this wound of abandonment from a "Father figure" has also restored us greatly in our relationship. It not only impacts my relationship with my Heavenly Father; but with others as well. I was set free some time ago with issues of my real father abandoning me; that was a huge breakthrough; but it prepared the way for me to be healed even deeper. If you will notice; this "Father Figure" issue happened before I felt my earthly father's rejection. See the Lord heals in reverse. What happened latest; he deals with first. It's like peeling off an onion. You can't get to the core until you peel off that which is on top of it; and I find that as the outer is peeled off; it allows us to "see" what lies beneath but not before. The Lord is getting to the core of my heart; healing those old areas of pain; of which I wasn't even aware was there! But God knows they are there and will orchestrate the whole healing process; IF WE LET HIM! If we realize what is happening and NOT STOP it! We can stop it you know and I think we stop it more than we allow him to heal us. We do it by going to the refrigerator; shopping; watching TV; computer games; alcohol and drugs; people; money; etc. It all amounts to some sort of addiction or obsession to be "filled" in an area that can only be healed!

I had thought for so long that we need to keep being filled; well we do if there are holes. So now that I know that I still have holes; one big one mended last night; I want God to get at every hole in my heart; so I am giving Him permission to. I want to be complete in Him! Don't you?

Then I asked God what scripture backs up this story? He took me to the scripture that talks of having a bag with holes..

Haggai 1: 2-14 came the answer!

See, I not only asked God how to become more prosperous with money; but also to have self-control over eating and obsessions. And I saw myself in this passage.

"It is time for you, O ye, to dwell in your ceiled houses (filling our earthly desires); and this house lie waste? (Spiritual). Now thus says the Lord; consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none war; and he that earneth wages put it into a bag with holes." (We have a leak somewhere… God healed me of a leak last night; the wound was mended. I have desired God to heal all areas of my heart; and that is what he is doing. This is not a scripture for us to go and built a framed building for God to dwell in; He wants our bodies (the temple of God) to not be full of waste. He wants our bodies (the physical) to be clean; not full of waste (toxins, etc.).

Thus saith the Lord; Consider your ways: Go up to the mountain and bring wood (Good food from the land) and build the house; and I will take pleasure in it; and I will be glorified saith the Lord. Ye looked for much, and lo, it came too little; and when ye brought it home, I did blow upon it. (He blew upon it to scatter it so we don't trust in that which we brought home!) Why? Saith the Lord of hosts; because of mine house that is waste; and ye run every man into his own house.

(Isaiah 42:6-8 - "I the Lord have called thee in righteousness; and will old thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles; to open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house. I am the Lord; that is my name; and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images - dollars - I had often said, "Lord I don't worship a graven image made of wood or clay or rock, but then he showed me the dollar bill!)

Therefore the heaven over you is stayed from dew, and the earth is stayed from her fruit. I called for a drought upon the land and upon the mountains, and upon the corn and upon the oil, and upon that which the ground bringeth forth, and upon men and upon cattle, and upon all the labor of the hands.

Then ………. The remnant of the people obeyed the voice of the Lord their God; and the people did fear before the Lord. (Remember the fear of the Lord is to hate evil; ask the Lord what is IN you that need to be purged out. Just as I had asked God to draw me nearer to Him it gave him liberty to clean out even more from my heart; to heal the wounds that ran deep.) But then the Lord said, "I am with you" and began stirring up the spirit in each person and they came and worked in the house of the Lord their God."

I believe when we give God permission to purge us from sin and heal all wounds we are allowing him to STIR us UP! It may be uncomfortable for a bit but in order to get at those things that "lie beneath" we need to allow this to take place. Yes, I cried all night, but it was a washing of my heart; surgery was taking place in my heart; and the Holy Spirit was sewing up the "hole" in my heart.

I had been desiring so many things; worked hard to get them; opening my heart more and more to the things of God, "love, compassion, peace, joy, righteousness; mercy, forgiveness, more than the "things" of this earth. But there was still "stuff" in me that had to go, and I know he will continue purging me and healing the wounds until the trumpet blows.

Our relationship is ever closer now. That "longing" for love and acceptance has been satisfied. The hole that needs to be filled is no longer a "bag with holes". Because when I started on this, I was asking God, "Why am I still hungry, I know my stomach is full but I still want to eat like I'm not satisfied!!!" And this experience is what came out of my prayer!

What is your heart yearning? Truly yearning? Is there hurts that need mending? Perhaps you don't even know it's there? When God begins to bring things up do you run from it or face it and allow him to heal you? Are you taking care of your "temple?" What are you seeking?

"Consider your ways" as Haggai kept saying. God's not keeping anything from us; his blessings continue to flood the hearts of men; but if there are holes, those blessings flow right out onto the ground! I pray that you take a minute to consider your ways. Ask God to help you see the truth that will heal you, deliver you, and set you free.

Tom's Tidbits

"You are the other part of my story"

Tom and I were talking one morning and he shared something with me. He said, "I know why we get along so well." I said, why? He said, "Because you are the other part of my story." What he explained was that he lives his life and I live my life; and then when we come together we share our lives with one another, completing each other! How awesome is that!

I hope you have enjoyed this months' newsletters. See you next month!

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