I am where You want me!

Something of great magnitude happened to me this week. I was driving home in some heavy traffic and as I sat there gridlock on highway 50 in Sacramento, I began to ponder on my surroundings. From there, in my mind's eye, I could see me sitting among many vehicles, then I could see all the houses around us, and then I could see the county and the farmlands, and before I knew it I was looking at the world from outerspace. Now, I haven't left my body or anything, I was just seeing a vision. And then after looking down at the world of which I no longer could see the cars around me, these words came to me. "I am where You want me to be." As I thought of that and then saw the cars all around me, I got so much peace. The Lord showed me that right then, right where I was, was exactly where he wanted me to be. There was no mistake about it. See, that afternoon I had to take care of an issue that kept me at work longer than normal. I was then beginning to dread the drive home because it was now rush hour. But there I was, no frustration, no dread when I realized that the place God had me in time was the exact place I was supposed to be. My car in that road needed to be there because I was a piece of a puzzle, as was the person next to me was a piece of the puzzle. If I wasn't there at that point in time, the puzzle would not have been complete for the work God needed to do. Perhaps I wasn't even involved in whatever it was God was doing, but my presence at that point in time was working in someone else's life! We are all connected somehow. And I had such a calming peace when I saw that so clearly. Instead of being upset that I had to wait for a tow-truck, I have peace. Instead of being mad that someone got ahead of me in the grocery line, I have peace. Instead of getting upset because something didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I had peace. Because I know that everywhere I am, at that time, is exactly where God wanted me. The only reason I could have peace in these things is that I truly believe God loves me. Now on the other hand, the very opposite may occur. When in these types of situations if I got impatient, angry or upset, then instead of peace, we ask God, "Why are you doing this to me?" This person hasn't yet received a revelation on God's love for themselves. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. It's taken me years to truly get a full revelation on God's love for me that it produced the kind of peace I'm talking about. So don't give up. Keep on seeking out God's love for you, and if you haven't received this peace already, it is nigh at your doorstep!

The Root of Fear

This is an area that every person needs to be made aware of. Don't fear this topic, it's so important for your survival as a Christian! The enemy is known to "Kill, steal and destroy." That's his character. Kill is the first item on his agenda. So it goes to show that he is "death, hell and destruction." To sum it up, I am calling it the spirit of death. I needed to specifically talk about the spirit of death because it's the main source of fear. This revelation was a major breakthrough for me personally. Once I acknowledged that I had a spirit of death a pastor prayed for me and cast it out. The spirit of death attaches itself to people who have had loss in their life, and in my case I had several abortions, (you can read more about that in the Abortion Recovery chapter) or loss of family members, friends, war, murders you see on TV, etc. I knew that I was set free from the spirit of death but then learned that a residue was left behind. That residue still played havoc in my life, that residue was the memory of that fearfulness! I had to finally come to grips that I still had issues with this and needed more healing. Let me share my story how this came about and how God set me free.

This may seem like a strong topic to discuss, but it has been one of the most important revelations I've received that brought me more and more peace and freedom within. The results have been life changing. I'm not feeling driven to keep doing things, I'm not feeling like I'm falling behind, I'm not feeling like God isn't using me any longer, I'm not feeling like I've failed, I'm not feeling like I'm running out of time. All of these feelings are derived from the root of Fear, which is the spirit of death.

Let me explain using my own personal testimony.

I needed to specifically talk about the spirit of death because it's the main source of fear. This revelation was a major breakthrough for me personally. Once I acknowledged that I had a spirit of death a pastor prayed for me and cast it out. The spirit of death attaches itself to people who have had loss in their life, and in my case I had several abortions, or loss of relationships, people, etc. (You can read more about that in the Abortion Recovery chapter.) I knew that I was set free from the spirit of death but then learned that a residue was left behind. That residue still played havoc in my life, that residue is the memory of that fearfulness! I had to finally come to grips that I still had issues with this and needed more healing. Let me share my story how this came about and how God set me free.

I needed to face everything that caused me fear so that I knew for certain I was no longer under it's power and I did that by "going through" things I feared. For example, facing heights, animals, people with diseases, etc. As I faced each one, I was set more and more free. Then I began dealing with fear of people, what they thought, how they responded, how I would look if I did something wrong, etc. I had so many of those issues to face and go through, but I came out on the other side and now fear of man is not as strong as it once was. But then I would have something overtake me from time to time that would cause me to get ugly. My attitude would change, I would be hard to get along with. It wouldn't last long, but I knew something was wrong. I asked my husband to help me find out what it is. We do tell it to go, and it does, only to return. We knew something in me was keeping the door open to it. I was being "taken captive" by it and it was acting out its character through me. So one day I went to God. "Father, what keeps that door open? What is in me that cause me to act like that?" He responded with, "fear." So I asked, "If I've been set free from the spirit of fear, why does it keep coming back? And this was the eye-opener that really put in to motion my complete freedom. He said, "Fear is a manifestation of the spirit of death."

So with that, I went to work. I wanted to know more about this. And as I began meditating on it and talking with the Lord, and with my husband, I got a clear picture. In my own life whenever I feared, it's because there's an element of dying in it. For example, fear of flying? Easy one to figure out. Fear of crashing and dying. How about diseases? Fear of getting sick is because we fear dying. When I'm around poisonous chemicals, I have tendencies to fear. Why? Fear of getting toxic poisoning and dying. Even in relationships, the "spirit of death' is behind everyone fearful situation. Let's say I need to give a speech. Fear of talking in front of people, why? Fear of making a fool of myself, failure, which is rooted in "dying" to an audience. Ever hear the cliché "They're killing me." We can kill each other with words, with a glance and with action. Many don't go out at night for fear of being attacked, and dying. People won't go in an elevator, for fear it would fall, and they would die. Many don't go in water because they fear they will drown. I couldn't even believe it myself as I began studying this out that behind EVERY SINGLE fear I had, there was an element of death. Separation is also a form of death; separation from God, separation from ourselves, and separation from others. There are levels of separation, emotionally, physically and spiritually, and any separation is a form of death. The spirit of death caused me to be driven, it caused me to be in competition, even with myself. It caused me to fear being left behind so I did everything possibly to "keep up with the Jones.'" Spirit of death caused me to think God forgot me, and abandoned me. The spirit of death caused me to get so busy doing good things that I didn't stop to think if it was a "God" thing. It caused me to make decisions that weren't good. It caused me to think I was out of time on this planet so I was trying to do EVERYTHING now to make up for it.. It caused me to fear the future, fear the past, fear, fear, fear. It caused me to feel like I never was doing enough. The spirit of death exhausted me! I surmised that in my case, the spirit of death was behind every fearful thought and feeling I had.

After discovering this and then taking a stand I told the spirit of death to leave. He is a liar and has been exposed for the evil spirit it was. So now when I begin to "feel fear" of any kind again, I know what is behind it and I confess my fear of death to the Lord. Within seconds, the fear is gone; I'm restored once again, and can go on living my life in peace. One by one, each and every fear I had to face I needed to address the spirit of death. Remember, I was delivered from the spirit of death when it was cast out, but the residue of that spirit still clung to my memories of the fearful thoughts and situations I still had to deal with. This is what is known as "walking out." We need to walk-out of the junk, leaving it all behind. When we get delivered from a spirit, it's not the end. It's only the beginning, because then you need to walk away from that spirit and all that it represents (residue).

I can attest that I am at more peace than I have ever been before. I don't feel an urgency to do anything. I'm not driven any longer. Now I am making decisions based on compassion and love, not on fear and unbelief. There's a big difference in my life now. And what's even more amazing is that my animals see it! Sounds weird, but true. I have a cat that doesn't come to me, but does go to my husband. It lets him pet her and everything. I rarely get to pet her. But the day after being set free from this spirit, the cat came to me. I couldn't believe it. My husband was standing in front of me and the cat passed him by and came straight to me!! I believe animals sense things, and didn't want anything to do with me as long as that spirit was in me. Now that I'm free, the cat came to me. The other evidence is that I don't feel pressured to do anything. If my ministry grows or not, it's not my concern; that's God's business. My job is to be obedient, available, walk in His love toward others, forgiveness, and God will do the rest. And as I do go forward, God will direct my steps. It's really quite different now and my husband has noticed the peace within me too. Just this morning (the night after I discovered this truth) I told my husband I don't "feel" anything. What I was saying is that I didn't feel pushed. All my life I felt some invisible hands pushing me along. I've always accomplished many things but only because I was feeling driven to. I'm off that treadmill now, it's not making me do anything. Now when I do something, it's because I want to, not because I "have" to. Remember, fear comes when we don't feel or receive love. (Refer back to the Love of God chapter). So in this situation, when I told the spirit of death (which is fear) to take a hike, I then focused on God's love toward me. And it's His perfect love that casts out all fear!

I challenge you to do some soul searching for yourself. The next time you have fear, ask God to help you find out why you are fearing. I believe you will find that culprit - fear of death - behind it. Or the next time you get into a real bad mood and not know why, ask God to help you see where fear came in because fear is present when we are angry, confused or moody, and behind fear is an element of fear of death. For those of you who wanted a deep teaching, I think this is a deep as you can get! Now is your chance to really dig down and find out what is really under all your fears, decisions, and thoughts.

My husband said something that really set the record straight. He said, "I think death is a gift. So many have gone before us, it can't be that bad. After all, Jesus came so that we didn't have to face death, and He gave the "gift of life" in the place of death." See in order to obtain that eternal life we have to go through the door of death. The enemy has distorted it and caused fear to be connected to it. But truthfully, it's the doorway to life, and life everlasting. Paul stuck around on this planet because he knew he would best benefit the people on this planet. He chose to stay here to complete the work before going home. We are to do the same. The door is out there somewhere, we aren't to fear it nor are we to rush it. God will call us home at the appointed time.

Here's a story that I thought I would share with you regarding the spirit of death A friend of mine was at the hospital next to her Christian mother's bed. Her mother was in a coma after complications from her cancer; she wasn't expected to live through the night. My friend was holding her mom when all of a sudden her mom's eyes opened. (Now remember, she was in a coma). And her eyes were filled with terror. Then she passed away. My friend remembers all of a sudden experiencing fear like she never had. It caused her to doubt God for several months before coming back to faith. But I believe what had happened was this. The moment her mother's eyes opened was the moment the spirit of death left the body. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and even in ministry we see spirits through the eyes of people. It's the doorway, you might say, that's why her eyes opened. It released the spirit. And the torment was the "spirit's character" leaving her. See, many people, even as Christians, don't realize that there is an element of fear living in them, so whatever is there has to leave when the body dies. And in my friends case, it jumped inside her! It had to go somewhere and there was my friend. She had tremendous fear hit her, literally!! Now if you are having a hard time with this insight, that's Okay. Remember, I teach out of my own personal experience and testimonial so if this doesn't pertain to your situation, then just disregard. But for those of you who know what I'm talking about, there is hope and freedom for you yet!

Tom's Tidbits

Since writing the topic above, I've had several occasions where I was tempted to fall into the "fear of death" again. The tempter will keep coming until he knows he can't tempt us. But now I recognize him right away and simply tell him to leave. And guess what? He has to. Let me share what happened. During the last several years of Tom and my marriage, I would have some strange thoughts. For example, if Tom didn't move in the night in bed I would begin thinking he was dead, so I would shake him. Or if he didn't answer the phone when I knew he was home, I would imagine him on the floor dead. And I've secretly been having these thoughts for several years. Tom is sixty years old and so there was a fear he was going to die soon. So this morning I called him on the intercom, but he didn't answer, I immediate thought he was lying on the floor dead. And instantly I told that thought to go, it was a lie. And with that, I didn't give it a second thought. I shared this with Tom this morning and he said, "Linda, I have to tell you a secret." As he leaned toward me and whispered, "The spirit of death doesn't care about age."

My whole fear was wrapped up in age. I always had a problem with Tom being ten years older than me, and the enemy used it to cause me to fear. No longer! Tom is right. Death doesn't care about age….

Chastisement by Grace by Pete Plitt

Hebrews 12 is probably the most used scripture in the New Testament on God's rules of discipline. Verses 5-7 record, "And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?"

There you have it! God chastises those He loves. Though one could make a case that most of the Greek definitions of chastening are to educate, train, instruct, nurture and tutor, the word "scourgeth" simply means, TO FLOG. But what exactly is God's delivery system. How does He flog us? Hebrews 12:9 & 10 goes on to say, "Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness."

Most of us have vivid recall of how the father of our flesh would correct, sometimes with words, other times by sparing not the rod - flesh being dealing with flesh being. The Father of spirits deals with us according to His Word. John 4:23 "But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." Here, Jesus was telling the woman at the well that not since the fall of Adam was there one found on this earth that could commune with their Creator as did Adam and Eve in the Garden. Jesus said the hour was coming [when the rebirth would be available] and now is [Jesus was able right then] for true worship in the spirit. God is a Spirit, and He deals with us, Spirit being to spirit being.

Paul gives examples of New Covenant correction in 2Corinthians 7:8-10. "For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season. Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of, but the sorrow of the world worketh death." As with most of his letters, he rebuked and corrected in keeping with the Father of spirits. When he flogged the saints, he did it with words and letters, from the Word and by the Spirit. He called the sorrow from his letters being, "made sorry after a godly manner."

Probably the most direct and to the point Scripture on HOW God chastises and scourges His children today is in Timothy. 2Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works." Interestingly enough, the word "instruction" in Timothy is the same Greek word as "chastening" in Hebrews. What perfects [matures] a person? The Word! All Scriptures, not circumstances, provide our moral compass, and correction when we deviate. A flogging from above can be a most weighty experience as one is called into accountability, yet the Father has such an amazing follow up of encouragement with no condemnation, it is easy to be grateful for having been made sorry after a godly manner.

But doesn't the Holy Spirit lead by circumstances at times, like Gideon's fleece? If we misbehave, doesn't God sometimes have to get our attention with a smack by a two by four? Galatians 3:3 "Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?" Throughout much of the New Testament, Paul passionately taught on staying in the liberty of grace Jesus had provided. He still asks today, do we now revert back to relying on our senses and to what they tell us of the events around us to get our guidance or spanking? 1Corithians 2:9-14 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. BUT GOD HATH REVEALED THEM UNTO US BY HIS SPIRIT: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. NOW WE HAVE RECEIVED, NOT THE SPIRIT OF THE WORLD, BUT THE SPIRIT WHICH IS OF GOD; THAT WE MIGHT KNOW THE THINGS THAT ARE FREELY GIVEN TO US OF GOD. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. BUT THE NATURAL MAN RECEIVETH NOT THE THINGS OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD: FOR THEY ARE FOOLISHNESS UNTO HIM: NEITHER CAN HE KNOW THEM, BECAUSE THEY ARE SPIRITUALLY DISCERNED." In John [16:13], we read that the Spirit of Truth will guide us into all Truth, not the dew on or off of a fleece. As we just read, the natural man just can't connect to the Spirit of God, so why would we think that the natural world around us would be God's teaching aid?

How about the Judgement of God, evidenced by some personal cataclysm? Jesus said in John 12:47-48, "And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I JUDGE HIM NOT: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: THE WORD THAT I HAVE SPOKEN, the same shall judge him in the last day." If we choose to not heed His Word, His still, quiet voice, His Spirit of Truth, we activate a spiritual law, the law of Genesis [every seed bearing after his own kind]. Galatians 6:7-8 "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption [there's your judgement]; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." Since the beginning of time there has been in place the law of seed time and harvest. We simply reap what we sow. It is such a powerful law that it has continued to operate perpetually since time itself began. The good news is that we can choose to sow to the Spirit and reap Zoe, Life as God has it. Romans 8:1&6 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." We've been given the power to choose what we sow, and by course, what we reap.

The idea that God is punishing us for our mistakes when a child dies, or when sickness taunts, or when things just don't go so well, is tantamount to saying the devil is from whom all blessing flow. Both are blasphemy. Understand that it is the devil's highest goal to obscure just how much our Heavenly Father loves us and to what lengths He went to set us at life and liberty. If the enemy can convince us that some calamity or sickness is God's correction or judgement, then how do we know when to resist the devil and when to accept correction from above? If one has held that a particular tragedy of the past was God's way of teaching, chastising, or judging, then either that belief is in error, or 2Timothy 3:16-17 is a lie. Even the trying of our faith from divers temptations that James 5:2-4 speaks of is overcome by the Word. Apart from God's Word being activated in us, that same trial could devastate, not strengthen. It is letting patience, a fruit of the Spirit, get a work out during bad times that produces maturity, not just some disaster showing up to trouble us.

Chastisement is by Grace. When we got born again, we began in the spirit. If bad news shows up on our doorstep, we often don't have to look any further than our own bad seed sown. Not even our warfare is against flesh and blood! However, being in, but not of this world's system is what sets us apart. In the flesh, we all look pretty much the same, but in the spirit, the difference is night and day.

I hope you have enjoyed this month's newsletters. See you next time!

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