Forgiveness
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Forgiveness
is the 2nd principal to living the life you desire. Forgiving yourself,
forgiving others, and receiving God's forgiveness. These, working together
with the "Love of God" will help you gain understanding, which
produces freedom. Freedom is being free from sin, and in this session,
we will be coming into truth about our own heart condition.
The
heart was made to love, nothing else. When we forgive, we ARE loving.
Love IS forgiveness. Jesus showed us the ultimate love of dying on the
cross for us, and did it to bring us forgiveness. The first part of
Matthew 22:38-40 was described when I spoke of the Love of God. As we
read on in Matthew 22:38-40 it says, "…and the second one is
like unto it, we are to love others as we love ourselves."
Simply put, as we get to "know" God and how much He loves
us and is able to receive that love for us personally, we are to do
the same with others! We are to get to "know" people, so that
a trust will build and that love begins flowing freely and honestly
between each other. This is where forgiveness comes in. Since we are
living in a fallen world, we have the nature to do the same from time
to time. So we all need to give and receive forgiveness.
In
order to love others though, we need to love ourselves. How do we do
that? While on your love quest with God, His love begins to take root
into your life. Then you are able to love yourself, in spite of yourself!
Because it's His love in you loving you. As you "receive"
God's love more and more, more of the impurities surface. Your sins
are being exposed so you can confess them. When you confess them, God
purges you and brings you even closer to Him. When you finally get that
going with God, then loving others is a piece of cake!
We
get stuck though at the loving ourselves part! It's because we know
ourselves all too well, all the hidden junk, all the past mistakes,
etc., that we don't even want to make friends in fear they'll find all
this stuff out. But the truth is, God already knows it anyway. We might
as well come clean.
I
have discovered something that rings true for every life who is having
difficulty with what I've been talking about so far. And that is, we
are not living IN forgiveness. What I mean is that we are not applying
the forgiveness Jesus came to give us every single day of our lives.
When we make a mistake (sin), we get mad at ourselves. We think we have
to "pay" for them in some way, stay miserable for a few days,
etc. But, if we truly believed in forgiveness, we would take it the
minute we sinned, thereby staying free FROM sin, as Jesus promised.
It's not that there won't be sin any longer, it's that when it comes
we don't take it! And if we did take it, we will recognize it, and apply
the forgiveness of sins to our lives immediately.
I
don't believe people are doing this. If they were, no one would be offended,
hurt, angry, etc. We are only offended, hurt or angry when we "think"
someone has done us wrong and we've taken it and did not forgive them
for what we "think" they have done to us. But we wouldn't
take it if we understood what forgiveness truly meant.
Self-forgiveness
Exercise:
q
In order to come clean, we need to identify our own
"junk". So begin to list every sin you have. Yes, every one,
big or small, past or present. Sins that you still see IN you. Things
like, bitter, angry, jealous, fearful, confused, depressed… for example.
Also things that you have brought regret or disappointments.
q
Then 1 John 1:9 them. Confess these sins to God, and
then RECEIVE forgiveness. Simply confessing is good, but it's complete
when we RECEIVE forgiveness. If you have a hard time receiving, that's
OK, it will come as you continue your love quest with God. The more
you "know" he loves you, the easier it will be to receive
forgiveness.
q
Then complete your prayer by forgiving yourself, asking
for God's restoration and relationship be restored with Him.
David
said in Psalm 51, "Only against YOU Lord have I sinned." He
knew that any time we sin against anyone, it's really sinning against
Him. Matthew 25:40 says that whatever you do (or not do) to others,
including forgiveness, you do it unto Him!
Forgiving
Others
Your
job as a believer is to believe, right? Then begin to believe you are
forgiven, for all past sins, current sins, and future sins. And begin
to receive God's love, so you can love yourself, so you can love others.
This
is the foundation I speak of. Everything, and I mean everything, has
to start here if you want to see change in your life.
So
what about all those people who caused you hurt, people you either think
you have forgiven and you just don't want to forgive? The Bible is clear
when it says, "If you do not forgive others, neither will your
Father in Heaven forgive you." (Mark 11:26). And we all know
that forgiveness from God is the only way we can have fellowship with
Him. He demands holiness. And when we take what Jesus has given us,
we are made righteous and holy! So therefore, we can have sweet fellowship
with God. I assume you don't hear much from God or have any kind of
communication back and forth with Him; otherwise you wouldn't need this
ministry. But when all our "junk" is out in the open and transparent
and we receive the forgiveness He sent to give us, THEN you relationship
with God will greatly improve! Yes, even with all your junk you just
confessed!
The
Bible also instructs us that what we do to others, we do unto Him. So
if we don't forgive our brother, we are causing a breach with our Father.
Remember, Jeremiah 5:25 says that we withhold good things from us. When
we don't forgive, we block all blessings! Isaiah 59:1-2 says, God can
heal us, but our sins and iniquities prevent Him. He cannot move against
our will. Our sins and iniquities are unforgiveness and not receiving
God's love.
So
how do you forgive, truly from your heart? Not just with lip service,
because when we truly forgive, it's as though it never happened and
you don't keep remembering what that person did to you the last time.
We need to forgive as God forgives us. Casts that sin out completely,
as though it never happened! Here
is a way you can know for sure if you have forgiven someone or not.
If you feel a pain of any kind, sadness, discomfort, and a ping inside
of you when you think of them, then you haven't truly forgiven. All
pain in you is a result of unforgiveness! It is YOU that is keeping
good things from happening to you.
See,
if you truly applied the law of forgiveness to your life immediately
to those who hurt you many years ago and when you made a mistake, you
would be a completely different person today, and in a completely different
place! But what happens is that we think we have sinned the "unpardonable"
sin so we keep it, OR we didn't know we sinned and didn't confess anything,
or we blame others and it grows and grows which begins manifesting in
our lives. Now we are older, that junk is rooted deep and more junk
has been added on top of that junk. We are a BIG stinky onion! Layers
and layers of junk!
Every
pain in your life is a result of unforgiveness. Either you did not receive
the forgiveness immediately from God, or you didn't forgive someone
else.
That
simple!
Every
pain in your life is what is causing you to reap what you are living
today. Be in physical (your body or circumstances), spiritual or emotional.
So
what do you do?
Get
a journal and write down every person's name that you can think of that
you "believe" you have forgiven, or those who you have not.
Ask God to help you.
Then
take one name and place it on the top of the next page. Draw a line
down the center of the paper making two columns.
Write
down all the "junk" this person did that hurt you on the left
side.
Then
write down all the things you became BECAUSE of that person. For example:
angry, jealous, fearful, unwanted, unloved, bitter, confused, ashamed,
embarrassed, rejected, abandoned, etc. Go ahead and write down as much
as you can think of. If you can write things down, then you have NOT
forgiven the person, otherwise these things would not be here. These
things that you have "become" are YOUR sins.
John
20:23 says that, "Whoseoever sins you remit shall be remitted
unto them, and whosoever sins you retain shall be retained."
This scripture clearly points out that when you do NOT forgive others,
you retain them! In other words, when you forgive, you do not get them,
but when you don't forgive, you GET them! So you are not only carrying
around your own sins, but theirs as well. Isn't it a wonder why people
don't want to be like the very persons that hurt them, yet they turn
out to be just like them? It's because the sins of the perpetrator is
in them still, and will stay there until they have been purged. And
then we act out what we have in us! We can only give away to others
what we have toward ourselves!
So
what is your part in all this? Unforgiveness or not receiving God's
love for you. Remember when I began talking with you, I told you that
things have happened to us because we had a part in all of it? This
was your part. You didn't forgive them!
So
now take your list to God. I John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all
unrighteousness. The reason we have to recognize our sins now is because
we never did it back when they happened. So take this list to God and
talk with Him. Here is a sample prayer:
"Father,
I come before you with these unresolved and unconfessed sins. I did
not receive forgiveness for these things when they happened, so I've
been carrying them around all this time. I receive forgiveness for them
right now, applying the sacrifice Jesus came to bring us. He paid for
all my sins, and I accept that and receive that right now. Thank you
for forgiving me for (name off each sin on your list). I receive forgiveness
for each and every one, right now. Cleanse me and restore me Lord. I
forgive myself. I forgive (the person's name), and I thank you for restoration
with (name of person). Put a new heart in me toward (name of person),
bless them Lord. Love them Lord and let them know you love them too.
Restore our relationship too Lord, and help me to hear you more, and
"know" you more. In
Jesus name, Amen."
Now
this is just a sample prayer, prayer is just talking with God. As you
have confessed and received forgiveness for your sins, you are now "free"
to forgive the person who hurt you. The reason people aren't set free
when they forgive, is because they didn't know they "took on"
sins that had to be confessed too. Did you know a victim has also sinned?
Men, raped, personally abused me and the like, yet I felt there was
nothing I did to cause my pain and grief, it was their entire fault.
That is true, but what the victim retained was this: Shame, anger, guilt,
hate, distrust, feeling dirty, etc. See how even a victim can be filled
with sin that has to be confessed?
As
you have identified the first person, you need to do this with each
and every person. Not in groups, unless it was a group thing, but each
person individually. And you just can't say, "I forgive everyone."
That doesn't work; the individual's junk is still in you.
Then
as you do this with all those who have hurt you from childhood, the
layers of pain is removed! Then you stay free from this day on by NOT
taking any offense, by forgiving quickly. If someone does something
today to hurt you or offend you, you just say, "I forgive you"
and you do it QUICKLY! Right at the time it happened so that their sins
won't jump on you and become you! You are not only keeping yourself
free, but you are helping the other person to become free too.
This
is how that works. When you forgive someone, you are releasing him or
her to God. If you don't forgive them, you are still connected to them
in some way (co-dependent) and God cannot move like He wants to in that
person's life. So by forgiving them quickly, you are making them free
game for God to do His will in their lives too! You'll see. As you do
this, for yourself!
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