LAM Newsletter, January 2004

I Understand!

What powerful words I just spoke. I know that when I am trying to get something across to someone and they say, “I understand.” It really gives me a calming feeling, like everything is going to work out. It gives me a feeling that I am not alone.

But when someone says, “I just don’t understand.” It’s like you are bumping up against a hard wall.

As I was entering this new year of 2004, I prayed a couple of things at the first of the year that I wanted more in my life, and one was “Understanding.”

To begin to understand everything going on around me. I learned that understanding does not necessarily mean I’m going to “know” everything. But IN everything I can understand, and understand that when I don’t “know” something, to believe in the one who does (God.)

As I began planning things in my life, and even just doing the day-to-day things we all have to do, I found myself doing them with more interest. I was beginning to truly understand what I was doing and why it was necessary. I also began to see what is really important and what is not. It reminds me of the book called, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Though I never read it myself, the title alone gives full details of what is in the book.

Let me share a few of those examples happening in my life right now:

One: My job at work. I was put into a new job that I really knew nothing about. I didn’t understand all the ins and outs. But as I asked for understanding in everything that faced me, I was surprised that nothing was a problem. Everything that came my way was made clear. And I didn't murmur or complain about my tasks at hand, I just asked God for more understanding! God answered my prayer.

Two: Life Application Ministries website. I wanted to be more active in working on my website. I did create the initial website and content, but I have a person who revamped the site and continues doing my updates, etc. for me. I really want to do some minor changes myself now, but I never thought I’d be able to, or had time, or could even figure out how to do it. Well, I’m learning, I’m teaching myself, and I’m almost to the point I’m able to make modifications and updates myself without waiting on someone to do it for me. It’s not that I want to do everything myself, it's that sometimes the individual helping cannot get to it when I need it done, especially when announcing seminars and changing dates. I'm looking forward to being more a part of this website now.

Three: Paying more attention. It seems that since I prayed for more understanding, I’ve been paying attention more! I’ve found myself being more interested in the details of everything I do. I used to see a project, and because of one thing I didn’t like, I didn’t do it at all. But I found out that I can enjoy what I want to enjoy, and grow in the area that is not so fun. Here’s a simple example. I got an electric guitar for Christmas. Because it didn’t make good clear notes when played, I decided to return it. I went back to the store, but I had to travel to another store to return it because the first store said they couldn’t take something back they didn’t carry even though it was the same store. Hm… sounds fishy to me. Anyway, I then said to myself, “Maybe I can just get it fixed. I really want to keep this guitar.” So I took it to a music store, and only $12.00 later, it was fixed! I was about to return something I really wanted and it was paid for, because I didn’t want to deal with detail.

4) Car purchase. Recently I had wanted to trade my vehicle in for another vehicle. I have a large amount still owed on the vehicle I want to trade in and new I was “upside down” with the pay off. In other words, I was going to have to pay some money to get into another vehicle. I’ve bought so many vehicles in my life, but this time it was different. I got involved in the details of something I never knew before. My husband sat me down and showed me some numbers on paper. Showed me how the car dealers were going to make $15,000 off my trade in and purchase. I had “understanding” about how the dealers make their money. So I went in to the dealership with my “understanding” and “details” of the dollars involved. One of the salesmen asked me if I was a broker. It was because I knew what I was talking about when I was making a deal. Then after that, I had full respect from them. I was treated as an equal because they knew they couldn’t pull the wool over my eyes. Needless to say, I didn’t trade my vehicle in, I got it fixed instead. (That is another story – I was going to spend a whole lot of money to get out of a vehicle because of a couple of things that needed to be fixed!!)

It’s like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I’ve known all along that there are unpleasant things we have to do in almost everything we do, but I’ve finally realized that I am equal to all the challenges. Fear kept me from doing some things in my life. Fear is there because of not understanding. Once you understand something, fear goes! So needless to say, my life has been so rich and full since the start of the year. It’s been exciting and challenging and fun!

I am enjoying “understanding” everything that is going on around me. Something’s I will never fully understand, but God will give me what He wants me to understand, and it will satisfy. Because we can fall into the “need to know” and that’s not what this is. A “need to know” is all about control.

I pray that you realize your need for more understanding. Psalm says it this way, “With all you’re getting, get understanding.” I know that having a bunch of “stuff” (knowledge) without understanding will cause us to fall.

Explaining Everything I Do

One day my husband and I were at breakfast. We decided to buy one large breakfast and one small breakfast and share. The waitress came over and took our order. I told her I wanted two pancakes, and then began to tell her we were going to share our breakfasts. After she took our order and left Tom looked at me and said, “Why do you have to explain everything?” I respond, “Not sure why.” He said, “Is it because you will feel alright if you explained why you didn’t eat more?” I said, “Yes, that’s it exactly. I felt guilty for not ordering more food.” Then he said, “Is it like having to buy something before you can go to the bathroom?” I laughed. Because there was a time I couldn’t just go to the bathroom at a fast food restaurant or any restaurant without thinking I needed to buy something first. I don’t do that any more

I realized I did do this for acceptance, to be “Ok” so I won’t be rejected or thought bad of. I see that I’m not entirely free from what people think! Stay tuned, I’m sure the Lord will continue working on me in this area and more stories will come out of it as well.

Expect vs. Expectation

To expect God to move in your life leaves it open for Him to move, as He desires. To form an expectation means you want God to move the way you want Him to move, telling him how you want Him to meet your need. The same holds true with others in our lives. We find ourselves disappointed and angry when others don’t do what we expected of them.

We need to remove all expectations from our lives. We are blocking wonderful things when we do this, we are also setting ourselves up for hurt.

One day I was waiting for Tom to get home because he told me he was bringing me a pizza for dinner. I was really looking forward to that pizza. When he got home, he brought home Chinese food instead. I was not happy, and complained about it all through dinner. If I would have just expected him to bring dinner home, but not expected what he was going to bring home, things would have been a lot better. By removing expectations off people, we are also freeing them to be all they can be. People change their minds for whatever reason from time to time and we have to allow that kind of change in our lives. We have to stop putting our own expectations on others, ourselves and especially God! We have expectations on how God should have done something in our lives, but didn’t. Perhaps doing something, but not the way we wanted. As the Bible says, "Who is the clay to tell the potter what to do? We need to stop expecting God to do what we “think” He should do. But simply expect that whatever He does do, it’s perfect for us!

If you have had unfulfilled dreams, unfulfilled wishes, or unfulfilled desires, you are probably battling depression from time to time from feeling disappointed. You may be losing your hope and faith in God, which causes depression. We blame God for the way things are in our lives. So we find ourselves being secretly angry with God. If this describes you, that is a good thing. It means you truly see within your own heart. After all, it’s the TRUTH that sets us free—after “knowing” it. And the truth in the situation is that you may be unhappy with God’s decisions for your life. But let’s change that now, shall we? If you find yourself in this category, pray this prayer:

“Father, I have had so many expectations that have not happened in my life. I have been bitter about my life. Things that I felt should have happened have not. Sometimes I felt you didn’t care about my situation. I have accused you of not loving me like you love others. I have been disappointed with my life. I have had expectations of you that have not been fulfilled, and it has caused me to doubt you. These are things I see in my heart that should not be there. I confess these sins: Bitterness, disappointment in you and thinking you don’t care or love me, for accusing you of not being the God I know you can be in my life. For being disappointed with you. I recognize these as sins and I now thank you for forgiving me and cleansing me from all righteousness. I forgive myself for having them, and I ask you for restoration and healing between you and I. Thank you for cleansing me and healing me and restoring us as a Father and child. I ask you to help me receive the love that you have for me and no longer blame you for what I don’t have. Because the truth is, you do love me and have my best in mind at all times. You have not abandoned me or left me. I thank you for truth Father. Help me to continue in the truth and not fear what I might see in me that you see already that you want out. Let me stop making up my own expectations of what I think I need to make me happy, help me be open to what you want to give. I expect great things Lord, but I am open to what you want to give and how you give it. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Keep me in your perfect peace Father, In Jesus Name, Amen.”

Addictions

I have come to the conclusion that individuals with any kind of addiction has the same root issue. We are addicted to something we think will fulfill us. I think that is simply put, and you probably already knew that. And you may even know that the chemicals in your body are all messed up causing your addiction, and in this you are true as well. But what you may not realize is how the chemical imbalance and addictions got started in the first place. I found that when we know how something has started, it helps us see the big picture that may set us free! Remember how I talked about "understanding" in my previous article. This is another area God is giving me understanding in.

Some of the addictions are:

Alcohol
Nicotine
Chocolate
TV
Pornography
Sex
Lying
Stealing
Food
Attention
People
Love
Sports
Places

As I wrote these down, some of you may be asking, "How can I tell if I have an addiction? Of course, many of you already know what you may be addicted to, but for things like stealing, food, attention, people, it may be harder to recognize. Answer this question. Does the thing that you are questioning cause you to think about it/them all the time? Do you find yourself involved with it/them even though you don’t WANT to or know it's damaging you? Finding ways to accommodate it/them? Anything that “makes” you act a certain way or do a certain thing is an addiction. Anything that takes away your free will is an addiction.

I’ve heard people in every case say, “I don’t want to ___________ any more, but I can’t stop!” This is an addiction. And individuals who don’t want to stop, but it is known as a problem in their life by others, have not yet come to the point of recognizing they have a problem. Because even in the 12-step programs offered today, one thing remains true, if you don’t know you have a problem, you won’t ever get free from it.

I’m still developing this material, so stay tuned because and hope to have it available on my website as a link.

2004 Seminar Schedule

2004 is proving to be very exciting, many seminars are scheduled and hopefully you will be able to attend one or more. All meetings/seminars/retreats are free of charge! All retreats include food and accommodations.