LAM Newsletter, July 2001

Happy 12th Wedding Anniversary!

Come along and celebrate a wedding anniversary. Tom and I have been married 12 years, as of July 27th, 2001. What a tremendous experience it has been. I have to tell you that through all my relationships in the past, mine with Tom is very unique. I understand now what it means to be a wife, "help mate" and a friend. Never before have I experienced this type of relationship.

During our first six months of marriage, they were pretty rocky. I was trying to adjust and so was Tom. You may understand this from your own experiences. But when things really started changing for the better was only 5 years ago when God began a "new thing" in my life. This had nothing to do with Tom, it had to do with me.

See, Tom is my 4th marriage. I believed in marriage, I wanted to be married, but the previous ones didn’t work out. God finally showed me that there was one common denominator in them all – me. So, He went to work in my life. He began showing me the fear I had, the lack of love I had, the lack of relationship I had with Him, the lies I was believing, and so on. Even though I had been a Christian years before I met Tom, I was still not living a life a believer should.

So as the years went on, my life began transforming. Because of that transformation, Tom began taking notice and he began changing. I use to say Tom lived under the basement and I lived on the rooftop. Complete extreme differences! Now we seem to be living in the house! What a tremendous time it has been.

Just in the last year we have grown closer and closer together. Things just keep getting better. Not to say we don’t face the same circumstances day in and day out, but our attitude and relationship has greatly improved and continues improving, even in the midst of all these every day circumstances.

When he said, don’t mistake my love for weakness – I really didn’t understand what he meant, not until it was tested. I recall when that happened. I was beginning to take him for granted, not being kind, thinking he was weak in his emotions, and so forth. But what I realized was that he was demonstrating the right kind of love by being tenderhearted toward me, holding me with greatest esteem, nurturing and caring for me. But instead I began taking all that for weakness. He reminded me of what he told me years earlier, and it made sense. I realized he was loving me and since I didn’t know what love was or how to receive it, I was rejecting it. Since that time I (well God) straightened out my thinking – as that is one of the strengths of a believer!

The second thing he said has played an important role in my life as learning "who I am" in Christ. Tom never asked me to change – he has prayed for God to change me, but he himself has never asked me to change. Even today he says, "I don’t want you changing, even with all your funny little ways". He says that’s what he loves about me. He wants me to be all I can be, be who I am, and will support what I want to do in my life. He does share his concerns which I do take heed, which helps me stay in the right direction, but always is there to support me. He wants me to experience all the things in life I desire. I believe a husband’s duty is to guide his wife, protect her, provide for her, encourage her, nurture her, and help her grow to the depth in which God created her to be. I found that in doing this (from personal experience), the wife "responds" as a husband would like her to respond – fulfilling his needs without him "demanding" them from her.

He has "let me be me". I haven’t had to be a servant to him. Through the years I have grown to accept his love, and in turn I have been loving him back – in ways that have improved our relationship. For example, because of his love for me, I have gained peace and stability in my life. Because of his love for me, I have been able to start this ministry and help many people. Because of his love for me, I have been set free from so many illnesses associated with stress, anxiety, fear, and phobias. Because of his love for me, I have been able to exhort and honor him. I tell him every day what a wonderful man he is. It’s not something I remember to say, it all comes naturally. It’s because of his love toward me – first!

I recall in the bible that it says, "We love God because He first loved us." I see that the same thing is true with my relationship with Tom. I have to agree, that he did love me first. I had no idea, from my own past pains and experiences, what love was. Tom taught me by demonstrating his love for me.

Today, I can say that we are loving each other about the same. The more he loves me, the more I love him, and so on, it just keeps growing and getting better every day. When a hard time hits, it’s the love – peace, security, stability, forgiveness, honor, mercy, longsuffering, and patience – that brings us through – together. We don’t even get burned by the whole thing because LOVE casts out all fear!

Our relationship is very open and truthful. I can tell him anything. When I feel I can’t tell him something, I make sure I do – because it’s "fear" trying to put a wall between myself and Tom and I won’t allow it. Separation from you and your spouse will destroy a marriage quicker than anything. The home is the foundation, if that foundation has a crack, no matter what else you do in life, will only be as good as the foundation you have at home.

Because we are transparent with each other there is a mutual trust. We all know that trust is a foundation principle for a marriage to work. Well trust is built on truth. If you have a hard time expressing truth to your spouse, then the "spirit of fear" has a hold of your life. When fear is present love isn’t. "Perfect love CASTS OUT Fear". Sure, the truth isn’t always easy to hear, but you better know that truth is the only way. "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me." (John 14:6)

Other things that make our marriage a success is that we laugh a lot. Just this minute, Tom came in again and said, "You make me laugh". He finds things around the house that I do, and he gets tickled by them. We are such opposites that what he would do in a matter is the exact opposite of what I do. Here’s an example.

One day we were driving and he said to me, "You’ve got gas". I said, "No I don’t." He laughed because he meant in the gas tank! We live every day like this. If there are two sides of something he sees one side, and I see the exact opposite – in everything! So how can two people who view things so differently get along so well? Because we don’t judge the other’s opinions and ideas. We give each other the freedom to "BE". And we laugh continually about it. There is no way on this planet that a man and a woman will see "eye to eye". The sad thing is that many couples have fights over these same differences Tom and I laugh about.

We know that our marriage is getting better and better every day, and not only with each other, but with others around us. When our foundation is solid and sure, everything else we do will grow from that point on so things outside of our home life can only succeed as well. I’d like to say, "The world around us is only as stable as the home life we live today." God is glorified in this marriage as it was the TRUTH that has brought us to the relationship we now have with each other. And we all know that the truth is Jesus Himself. He will help you know the truth that will "set you free.

Tom and I were talking one morning about something that I was experiencing. We had just purchased a piece of property next to us at the very same time the property on the other side of us came up for sale. I heard about it on my way home from work the night before and so I was thinking of all the ways we could acquire that piece too. We don’t have the cash, but wondering if we could afford payments. I was thinking about it and thinking about it. "TRYING" to figure things out. Well, I knew from my own teaching that "trying" is not going to get me anywhere. So I shared my turmoil with Tom. I told him I wasn’t sure we made the right decision, perhaps we should have waited and bought the land on the other side, perhaps no land at all? He said to me that night, "We did the right thing in buying the land we did, we don’t have to worry about the other side." With that, I got my peace. I shared this with my husband and he took the load from me. I was free from all that thinking! So I went to sleep, and slept like a baby.

The next morning we woke up, and he said to me, "I was thinking all night about the property and what we should do about it." Then he said, "But then I asked God and he gave me the answer. One was that we don’t need to own the whole mountain. So he got his peace back too.

I then said to him, "I now know what husbands are for, they are to give our junk to so we can be free." See I learned something this day that God showed me how a marriage is suppose to work. The man is the stronger vessel, so whatever is tormenting me, I’m to share it with my husband, who then takes responsibility to nurture and help me work it out or releases it to God. See men’s capacity for handling things are greater than our capacity. But if they have exhausted all their capacity, then they take it to God.

Now to talk to those whose husbands that don’t believe in God, or don’t have a relationship with God or for single women. You go right to God with all your "stuff". When you truly trust Him in those things, as I was when I released them to Tom to be his problem, you will be set free as well. But in a marriage, that’s how God designed it. God is the head of man, Man is the head of Woman, Woman is the head of the children. You see, children in most cases who get hurt run to mommy. If mommy can’t handle it, she takes it to her husband, and so on. That’s how it was truly designed to work.

From this moment on I will exercise my right as the wife and give to my husband what I cannot figure out, as it should be. He is the stronger vessel, and I’m to remain in peace. I have learned that anything that bothers me, worries me or frustrates me, I give to Tom. Tom is so important to my being at peace that from now on I will not hesitate to share with him anything that is bothering me! Let me add that if it is something about him, of course, I go directly to God. Selah

I have received revelation about the idea that things are not always about me. It seems that whenever we have a conversation with someone, we seem to turn the conversation toward ourselves. For example, if someone tells you of a great vacation they just had, you begin telling them about the great vacation you had too. Why can’t we just be happy with their vacation and leave us out of it? Because we are self-centered individuals. Take a look next time you have a conversation with someone and see if this isn’t true?

Well, just recently I got a revelation that enhanced my life for the better with regard to my relationship with authority figures. Proverbs 20:2 says, "The terror of a king is as the roaring of a lion, whoever provokes him to anger, or angers himself against him, sins against his own life." (Amplified Bible Version). >From reading this verse, at the very time I needed it, I discovered what was going on in my relationship with my Boss! Since I have worked for her, over a year now, I have never "felt" accepted. I felt that no matter what I did was never good enough. I was "trying" to please her to be accepted by her, but nothing worked. I prayed for her. I asked God to move me out of the position, and so forth, but nothing was happening.

This scripture opened my eyes, and that is this. I had been "angry" at her for not accepting me, but in reality, she was only responding to what I was feeling toward her. People, without knowing it, sense these things in others and respond accordingly. Since she was an authority figure, and that has been an issue in my life, no matter what "she" did, she was still the authority which I despised – for some reason which God is opening up to me just recently. So, because of how I felt for her in the first place, she mirrored back to me what I was giving out!. See when I discovered this, God showed me the other managers that I had felt this same way about – that they snubbed me, wouldn’t say hi or talk to me – they were responding the same way my boss was. They saw something in me that caused them to "feel" rejected! Wow, what an eye opener.

When I confessed this to God and realized it "was about me" not about them, I began identifying my sins in that situation. See that scripture says, when we are angry at another, we only sin against our own life. So I asked God what my sins were, and this is what he said:

"You are sewing discord among the ranks and you are "Blaming" others for your feelings". He was absolutely correct. Because of my "pain" from this situation, I was telling people about it, how my boss doesn’t like me and so on – that is "sewing discord". Then he showed me that I was blaming others for my situation and feelings – without even knowing I was!!! When I confessed those two sins, and others I discovered for myself including rebellion, fear, anger, jealousy, envy, strife, well you get the picture, my relationship with my Boss took another direction! She has been going out of her way to include me on things, talking with me, smiling at me, complimenting me that she has never done before. Not to mention those other managers too, they are talking with me as well.

Let’s call her, Betty. Betty is a grandmother and mother of 3 grown women. Her desire is to minister to her family. Help the grandchildren develop relationship with God, and help her already grown children be healed from anxiety, worry and fear.

Recently, she shared with me that the people she knows keeps asking her to go to seminars, retreats, other meetings, and even signing her up to attend them without getting her approval first. She was getting angry because no one was understanding that she just wanted to stay home to minister to her family.

One day I came over to her house to visit. We began talking about this – and all I said was that she needs to be honest. Tell the individuals what her heart was telling her, regardless of what they’ll say. This is her call from God, not theirs. Also, I have been ministering to her about the love of God – that she doesn’t have to be a spiritual giant involved with every spiritual thing to be loved. She is loved right now, no matter what!

"Those special quiet times that I have had with you mean a lot to me. I just wish I could minister to you as much as you minister to me. But I must tell you, that through you, God has sown in me such peace I’ve never experienced before, even with the kids here. It takes my breath away how much God loves me no matter what, and because little by little every day I’m learning this, I see His peace growing within me."

Be set free NOW in the name of Jesus to be who God called you to be, and Do what God has called you to do. Get off that "please others" merry-go-round! The bible says in Psalms 37, "Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give thee the desires of thine heart". Delight means to be ready for him to use you. If you are busy doing what others want you to do……. what happens when God comes along and desires to use you?

My friend Betty is busy "being" a mother, wife and grandmother. That of which she was called to, and has gained the peace and stability she has so desired.

Events Update

We held our 3rd annual "Freedom Fest" concert in June. It was a great event, many were blessed, especially those who volunteered and those who stayed to the end. During the last hour, we experienced God in a way that truly blessed everyone there. His presence was so "thick" that people wept in His presence, praising Him for who He is. It was tremendous watching God minister to so many that day!

A truck load of donations were received, such as clothing and miscellaneous items that will be used for the "Help for the Holidays" event in December. Many were so blessed by the opportunity to give that some even went down the street to a store and bought a new item to donate!

During a conversation with one of the volunteers, she began confiding in me that her and her husband aren’t communicating at all any more. Things are not going very well at home. It wasn’t apparent to me as she masked that very well each time I saw her, but you don’t know about people unless they come forward and share. This was her time.

Most everyone was gone by then so we had time to talk. She shared her concerns about their marriage, that they were drifting apart. That all the decisions made in the home, she makes and that her husband doesn’t help at all. She was becoming agitated by his laziness and lack of interest. She was being irritated and angry toward him. She just laid it all out. Tears began filling her eyes as she shared this with me.

I reminded her of James 5:15, "Confess your faults one to another, pray one for another, and you shall be healed." I explained that she has unforgiveness toward her husband and it’s keeping the "junk" alive. That she has to give her husband to God and the relationship He has is between Him and God, to begin to develop her relationship with God without worrying about her husband.

So, with all that I shared with her how to get her relationship back, get her peace back, and begin enjoying her life. That her being here and confessing this was the first step, but then to receive forgiveness for her own sins because of this situation (which were: impatience, fear, anger, irritation, and so on.), then forgive herself, and then forgive her husband. To realize that she cannot "change" or "make" her husband be what she wants him to be that she has to simply accept him the way he was and leave her husband in God’s hands.

Two days after we visited I spoke with her. She told me that on her way home that day, she was set free. She no longer harbored any anger toward her husband. She was free to even tell him everything, and that she did! And since that day her relationship with her husband has improved greatly.

She was so thankful for the time we spent together, recognizing the truth. As I had explained that the first step to being healed is to recognize her own heart condition. She discovered she was holding onto past hurts and not walking in love (forgiveness) with her husband, but she was freed the moment she confided in me.

It’s the Truth that makes us free. (John 8:32). Once we see the truth about things, we WILL BE SET FREE from them!

Comments from Readers.

I was so blessed by an email I received today regarding the book, "A Matter of the Mind" my autobiography. This comes from a young woman from the east coast, and thought it was an encouragement to this ministry. Here is part of what she wrote: "Hi, I’m a woman of procrastination, but I FINALLY began reading your book and find myself going to bed later and later because I just get so engulfed with the stuff… it really can become a book that gets you hooked, and it did just that for me. I’m not even finished with the first chapter but I anxiously await it every evening. Maybe you should become a famous author and inspire millions of people. The morning I first began to read it I had left periodically to do the dishes… and the name Tom WOULDN"T escape my mind until I went back and made the discovery that that guy "Tom" who was your Karate Instructor and you had kept his number for some precarious reason, happened to turn out to be your husband later on. Wow! Talk about weird. That guy has a LOT of patience (I think he loves you too)……"

The Lord is my Boss, I shall not want

He give me peace, when chaos is all around me, He reminds me to pray, before I speak in anger. He restores my sanity. He guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all I do. Even though I face absurd amounts of email, system failures, copier jams, back-ordered supplies, unrealistic deadlines, staff shortages, budget cutbacks, red tape, downsizing, gossiping, co-workers and whining customers, I won’t give up, for you are with me. Your presence, peace and power will see me through. You raise me up, even when the boss fails to promote me. You claim me as your own, even when the company threatens to let me go. Your loyalty and love are better than a bonus check. Your retirement plans beats any 401K, and when it’s all said and done, I’ll still be working for you."

Many of the diseases I teach about are spiritually rooted, but Seizures are not spiritually rooted. Let’s take a look at what the bible says. Mark 1:26 says, "And the unclean spirit, throwing the man into convulsions and screeching with a loud voice, came out of him."

Seizures are caused by an "unclean spirit". It needs to be cast out of the person. Yes, many of the grand mall seizures and other seizures may have started because of an accident where the person got a blow to the head, but that was the door the unclean spirit used to get in through. Here’s a true story that happened a little over a year ago.

I received a call from a lady who knew what I did in ministry – she asked that I came to her house and help her. The story here is that she had seizures almost every day for the last year and no doctors have been able to help her. Upon my arrival to her home, she was in a bad state. She was literally shaking from head to foot and felt another seizure coming on.

We went to her back bedroom to talk. She showed me the bag of drugs she had been prescribed and said she just recently stopped taking them. She told me that she didn’t start shaking like that until she knew I was coming over. I explained that the enemy knew I was here to get rid of him and he was getting upset. See one thing we have to understand about the enemy, he is a spirit and can see in the spirit things before we do! That’s why he tries to tempt us right before God wants to bless us – he knows what that blessing is! So anyway, I had her sit in a chair. I got up behind her to pray, and as I placed my hands on her shoulders she just went limp. I began to pray, I can’t recall what I said because instantly she fell to the floor convulsing with a seizure. I got down on my knees next to her and touched her stomach and began calling out the unclean spirit. Her eyes were rolling back and she was beginning to scream out, my stomach hurts. I looked up toward heaven and said, "OK God, please show up". And I continued telling the spirit to leave. I told it I wasn’t going to let up until he was out. Within seconds she was completely relaxed. Sat up and said, "Wow, I feel better than I’ve ever felt in a months."

She got up and sat on the bed and I began to minister to her. I explained to her what just happened and how to stay free from that spirit. See, the bible is clear on this one thing, that when an "unclean spirit" leaves a body, it goes about roaming and finding no place to live, it returns to the previous home – her – to see if it’s empty for him to come back and live. Not only that, brings 7 worse spirits than himself with him so the state of that person is worse from the beginning. (Matthew 12:43).

I told her that the way she is to stay free is when it comes back, and she’ll know because the body will try to manifest its presence, or a thought will enter the mind, that her defense is the word of God, and that is one simple word – "GO". (Matthew 8:32, Matthew 4:10, Matthew 8:16).

One thing about my ministry, I keep it simple. I recall a scripture that is written by Paul that says something like, "I pray that you don’t complicate the simplicity that is Christ Jesus." What I shared with her was too simple to be true, but she heeded just the same.

A few days later we talked again. She told me that the very next day she was standing in her kitchen and she "felt" that shaky feeling coming on right before a seizure – she said she sat in a chair and said, "GO". Within seconds the shakiness stopped and has not had another seizure since. I spoke with her not too long ago, been almost 2 years, and she indicated that she hasn’t had any more seizures.

When I read these scriptures I have shared with you, each time someone is delivered from a spirit of some sort, there is ALWAYS a manifestation of that spirit before it leaves! It could be a physical symptom, a thought, or whatever, but it has to be exposed before it comes out.

In my last seminar I was teaching about the spirit of fear. A lady in the audience began fidgeting, biting her nails, scrunching down in a knot, and would say things like, "I don’t understand what you are saying." Well, I knew it was the spirit of fear all over her trying to keep her bound to not receiving the truth. So she gave me permission to pray for her. See all these symptoms were real! The enemy was turning the furnace up because he knew he was not going to be in her body much longer! He manifested himself before she was set free. And indeed she was set free. After I prayed for her, and since she was holding her daughter in her arms – I prayed for them both – they both experienced a release. They felt it leave! Both of their faces were filled with light and joy!

If you or someone you know has seizures or manifests fear of any kind and you would like to help them be set free, please contact the LAM office. The ministry is free and completely confidential.

BOOKS and other materials:

For more information on these books, please call the Life Application Ministries’ Office at (530) 620-2712. or email lam@mindsync.com.

Scripture of the Month

Hmmm…. I understand this scripture now. Sometimes God has to allow things to take place in our life that is not always pleasant to drive the evil away. For example, when He’s dealing with me regarding unforgiveness I have in my heart. I will have a tugging in my spirit, I won’t be happy, my peace leaves me, I become irritated easier, I get easily angered, and I’m miserable. That, I say is a "blow that wounds", because I believe that emotional wounds are far greater than physical, though sometimes he does allow physical wounds to lead us in the right direction – I’m sure you can think of a few. But, it’s those times we need to stop and "grasp" what God is doing and "embrace" the wound. If we continue fighting with it, it only causes us to stay in it longer! The bibles says clearly to, "Count it ALL JOY when you fall into these kinds of things." Why? Because it’s your attitude God is concerned with, not the actual thing going on in your life. So the next time something "uncomfortable" happens in your life, stop and take notice, ask if you have any unforgiveness toward another, and embrace the wound! Sounds weird, but it works! Then God has a place to begin your healing.