LAM Newsletter, August 2004

I have been writing these newsletters since 2000, however, in re-reading them, it appears they are not just newsletters, they are packed full of insights and testimonials. Because of that, I’ve decided to change the name from Newsletter to “Insights etc.” Hope you continue enjoying them as before.

Be Careful

One day at work I was talking to a co-worker about riding motorcycles. I was taking a few days off work and was asked if I was going to ride my motorcycle. I said yes. He responded, “Be careful.”

The next day I was getting ready to ride my motorcycle, and while I was preparing to leave my husband said, “Be careful.” What was strange about that was he’s never said that to me before. I even commented to him that he’s never said that to me before. So off I went. But then as I rode I began thinking of what my husband said. And then hearing it also the day before, I thought something was up. So I began wondering if they knew something I didn’t. Perhaps I really need to watch out today and be extra careful as I ride. I found myself tense. I found myself uncomfortable and even forgetting the smallest things about riding the bike, like when to pull in the clutch! I was having a horrible ride. When I got to where I was going and took care of some business, as I was leaving the shop owner said, “Be careful.” Boy daggers in me again. What’s this all about?

Then driving home the Lord showed me through scripture. “Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplicatin with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” (Phil. 4:6) Immediately I understood. As people said to “Be careful” it produced fear! I was being afraid that was why my ride was not fun, it was stressful. We are to be careful for nothing! We are not to be full of care – and as I was riding my bike I was trying to take “care” of myself. Once I said to myself, “Be careful for nothing but trust God" the peace was restored. I was able to finish my ride with joy and peace. It was “easy” to ride my bike, and everything came back like second nature, I didn’t have to “think” about pulling in my clutch. Everything flowed naturally.

So I’ve decided when someone says to me, “be careful” I’ll add, “for nothing, but pray.”

Manipulation and Control

I experienced some manipulation recently that I thought I would share with you. And I also found out why many still control and manipulate, regardless how hard they try not to.

Let me begin with a story:

I had gone to the movies with a friend. I had brought in a couple of bottles of water, and we bought some popcorn and candy at the theatre. During the movie, I noticed her cup was low in water, so I filled it up again. A little further in the movie, I heard her pick up her cup shake it, so the ice would make that rattling noise, took a sip of what was left, and put the cup back in the holder. I didn’t do anything. Then minutes later, she did the same thing. I still didn’t respond. I knew that she was trying to tell me, using manipulation, to get me to give her more water. But I wasn’t going to be manipulated. Then she finally leaned over and asked me if I had some more water. I said yes, and gladly gave her some.

This made it so clear how manipulation works. We do something to cause others to move on our behalf, instead of just asking! I think I understand why God said, “Ask and it shall be given.” He hates manipulation Himself and doesn’t move on that, He moves when we ask and believe when we ask.

Here’s another story: I went to dinner with a friend of mine, a real close friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while. I just figured out what I wanted from the menu and laid it down. My friend straightened out my menu. From this I realized she was being controlling of the menus.

Out of these two situations, I discovered something very profound. We know who we are who controls and manipulates. And we would even like to stop, but we just can’t seem to. I discovered why, myself included. There is a deeper root that is “feeding” control and manipulation, and that is criticism and judgment. See I wouldn’t have the need to control someone or manipulate him or her in doing something I wanted if I first didn’t judge them for what they were doing, or being critical of them. Control and Manipulation come from being judgmental and critical.

So I personally confessed my judgmental and critical spirit and asked for healing and purging and received forgiveness. The control and manipulation will go in time as I get freer in the area of not judging others or being critical of what they do.

It’s becoming apparent with my husband. Over the years he would say, “Why do you keep telling me what to do.” I understand now. It was control, yes, but it was because I was being critical of his choices! They weren’t MY choices!!! Wow, what an eye opener. So now I’ve given permission to the Holy Spirit to start cleansing me from being judgmental and critical. It’s already happening too, because my husband and I spent the weekend together after this revelation and he noticed I wasn’t telling him what to do!

It’s interesting that when we “finally” get to the truth of the matter, God’s work is quick! The part that takes long is our part – but when God comes through, it’s now! Once I got this revelation, I immediately saw the results.

Tom and Me

I have a number of friends that know me well. Some know my husband Tom a little, and some don’t know him at all. As I share the wonderful things I’m doing, and how Tom is really loving me, encouraging me, etc., they always say, “Boy you have a wonderful husband, there needs to be more like him in the world.” This happens all the time. And they don’t even “know” Tom. But they see the fruits of Tom in my life.

I realized that I’m the person I am today because of my husbands love and acceptance forgiveness and honor toward me.

As I thought on this, I realized the opposite is true as well. If a woman is married and is miserable and sad, it reflects directly from the husband’s treatment toward her. I see that when a man loves a woman as Christ loves the church, the woman is well balanced and full of life and happiness. But if a woman is controlled, abused, mistreated and talked poorly to, dishonest to their wives, then it produces sadness and hurt in the woman.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If men would love their wives as Christ loved the church, the women wouldn’t be sick, emotionally or physically.

Did you know you were a King and Priest?

Revelations 1:10 says, "And hast made us unto our God kings and priests; and we shall reign on the earth." So who shall be made kings and priests? If we read Revelations 1:9 it says that those who have been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ.

If you don't believe you are a king or priest, then you may not have appropriated the blood of Jesus, His sacrifice and forgiveness to your sins. I know for a fact that if anyone has guilt and condemnation in any area of their life, they are still not applying the sacrificial lamb to their lives, and will cause problems in believing who you are in Christ. Take a minute and ask God if you still have guilt, still have fear, still have unforgiveness towards people, etc., and get those things resolved with Him. It's important to be "squeaky clean" before our God, and then we are vessels "fit" for the master's use. After all, don't we all want to be used of God? Then we need to have our vessel clean and pure - it doesn't mean perfect!!!!! It means truthful with God, that when we do make a mistake or sin or transgress against Him or others in any way, that we receive forgiveness for it IMMEDIATELY! That is when we are holy and fit for the master's use. So stop trying to be perfect before you think God can use you.

Look at me. I'm miles and miles away from perfect, but I'm blessed far more than ever before because I've decided to stay honest before God. Confess my heart to him as I commit sin, and receive the forgiveness immediately. This not only keeps us clean but keeps us close to God's own heart.

Don’t Pray for It

Did you know that there is a scripture in the Bible that instructs us not to pray for people with specific illnesses? It’s found in I John 5:16 say "If a man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death; I do not say that he shall pray for it."? Because the disease is spiritually rooted and can only be healed from the inside out. This has nothing to do with salvation, it has to do with the sin in us that is preventing healing.

If you have a disease or illness that is chronic, incurable, or the doctors have said they don’t know what it is, then contact this ministry for help.